The Church Picker App

[Just posting a bit of fun for you this week. I originally wrote this as a guest post for Jon Acuff’s Stuff Christians Like in 2012.

Smile :) ]


So…

You’re new in town, settling into your new digs, getting used to the local eateries and traffic patterns and such. You feel pretty good about how quickly you’re adjusting. You’ve found the Home Depot and Starbucks, and even know two of your new neighbors by name.

You hardly even feel like a tourist anymore. This could be good. This could feel like home in no time.

But then you remember…

YOU HAVEN’T FOUND A NEW CHURCH

A brick drops in your gut as you dread the coming weeks of awkward, but necessary, church-shopping tactics:

  • The greeter-avoidance maneuver
  • The hide-in-the-herd hussle
  • The breezy, just-passin’-through, bearing
  • The “Are you new here?” evasion techniques
  • And above all, the no-eye-contact game face

(Lord help you if you have children to put in the nursery. You’ll still be on 43 church mailing lists when little Jenny’s working on her Ph.D.)

Is this your story? Do churches outnumber all the taco, burger and pizza joints combined in your new hometown? Do you wonder how you’ll ever find that right church among the 692 within five miles of your front door?

WISH THERE WAS AN APP FOR THAT?

Ah, there’s help for you, my friend!

Find the right church with The Church Picker App

Find the right church with The Church Picker app

Just install The Church Picker app by eMelodee™, select a few preferences, and Great Jehoshaphat! Church Picker shows you a custom-matched, short-list of right(ish) churches for you.

It’s like God’s guidance on your smartphone.

Want to avoid a church that’s a little too friendly? Just slide the friendliness preference to select “Total anonymity. No hugging.”

Have a strong conviction about Bible versions? With Church Picker you can easily find churches that believe “The King James was good enough for Paul” just like you.

Is congregation size a priority? Select options from “Mega-church with heliport” down to “Come grow with us.”

Maybe you’re concerned about the quality of your worship experience? Just slide the musical preference to find churches that feature “Spinet Organ & Gospel Choir,” “Holy Smoke Praise Band,” “A Cappella Psalms & Shape Notes,” “Unplugged Metro-Worship,” or “Bach, Pipes & Brass.”

Need even more control? No worries! Select your preferences for up to 33 Church Picker dimensions like: visitor visibility, liturgy, length of service, singles, preaching, nursery, and youth ministry.

You can even pick a theological* preference like: “I just follow Jesus,” “Doctrine Divides!” or “Modern-Western Pre-mill Seekerism.”

(*Some dimensions may not reduce the number of matches in your area.)

The Church Picker App: Like God's guidance on your smart phone

The Church Picker App: Like God’s guidance on your smart phone

Download “Church Picker” now, and you’ll also get exclusive access to the free companion app, “Daily Prayers My Way.” It makes prayer so easy, even a cavem…

Well, you get the idea.

Get The Church Picker app by eMelodee™ and cut through the church-shopping clutter.

Pick a church on your phone, save shopping for the mall.

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Photo Friday: The View from Sawnee Mountain

Panoramic photo of the view from Sawnee Mountain

[iPhone Panoramic view from Sawnee Mountain, Cumming, GA. September 22, 2013.]

Here’s a panoramic Photo Friday view looking north from Sawnee Mountain (elev. 1946 ft) in Cumming, GA. I used the panoramic photo feature of the iPhone camera and it turned out pretty well, even though the photo doesn’t do justice to the mountains in the distance. If you click to view the photo full-size, you’ll see the southern end of the north Georgia mountains about 30 miles away on the horizon.

Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.–Psalm 90:2 KJV

BTW – we live about up on a hill about 15 miles south of Sawnee Mountain (as the crow flies). You can see it on the left in this 2008 photo from our bedroom window.

View from our house

 [The view northward from our house. Nikon D40, November, 2008.]

Average Us Guest Posts on Stuff Christians Like

Stuff Christians Like

Today, the popular satirical blog, Stuff Christians Like by Jon Acuff, features a guest post by Lon called, The Church Picker. It’s a tongue-in-cheek look at how technology could take the pain out of church shopping.

The Church Picker app

“Church Picker: It’s like God’s guidance on your smartphone.”

If you’re visiting from SCL, welcome to Average Us! We write about the rubber-meets-the-road side of Christianity, where we believe God is great, even when life isn’t.

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Lon & Dawn