Ten Commandments

The other day I admitted to a friend that I struggle with covetousness.

“Is that a word?” he asked.

Yes, it is a word, though I still have trouble spelling it. It means envy. It’s the noun form of the verb covet, as in, “Thou shalt not…” Here’s the whole verse straight from the good ol’ King James version complete with Old English words and spelling:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s. – Exodus 20:17

Okay – that’s enough snickering…

As I was saying, I have trouble with covetousness, number ten of the Ten Commandments. I break this command regularly. And to God, that’s no laughing matter – as you can tell from this image of Charlton Heston playing Moses in The Ten Commandments.

Charlton Heston as Moses holding up the Ten Commandments

Charlton Heston Doesn't Look Happy

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Hello again @averageus followers!

Today, the Twitter Bible merriment continues as we imagine how another well-known Bible passage would read if it was restricted to the 140 character tweet-length enforced by Twitter. Last time we heard from @gospel who gave us The Tweetitudes.

The 10 Tweetmandments

Now, this tweet just came in from high atop Mount Sinai from our bearded friend @burningbush.

“@burningbush” tweets:

I AM God ur rescuer. Luv ME not idols. Honor my name, esp. day 7, stop work. Luv ur folks. Respect ur neighbor’s life, spouse, stuff & name.

Truly, a 140-character masterpiece!

Okay, so it’s not as elegant and magisterial as the original, I know. (Not familiar with the original? You can check it out below.)

Actually Moses did a far better job summing up The Ten Commandments in less than 140 characters himself. Check it out…

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Amazing. Only 125 characters. Elegant, lyrical and memorable.

Sigh…if only I could keep just these two simple things, I’d have the whole “God’s commands” thing down pat. Seriously! Yeah, Jesus himself said these are biggies #1 and #2. So…I guess that makes me a major God’s law-breaker. How lame is that? It should be easy to love God shouldn’t it? Thank goodness God’s got a plan for rescuing law-breakers like me.

Well until next time, this is @average us signing off. Next time we’ll hear from everybody’s favorite lion tamer, “@lionsden”.

The Original (Exodus 20:1-17, NIV)

¹ And God spoke all these words:

² “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

³ “You shall have no other gods before me.

⁴ “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. ⁵ You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, ⁶ but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.

⁷ “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

⁸ “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. ⁹ Six days you shall labor and do all your work, ¹⁰ but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. ¹¹ For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

¹² “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

¹³ “You shall not murder.

¹⁴ “You shall not commit adultery.

¹⁵ “You shall not steal.

¹⁶ “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

¹⁷ “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”