The Twitter Bible, tweet 2

Hello again @averageus followers!

Today, the Twitter Bible merriment continues as we imagine how another well-known Bible passage would read if it was restricted to the 140 character tweet-length enforced by Twitter. Last time we heard from @gospel who gave us The Tweetitudes.

The 10 Tweetmandments

Now, this tweet just came in from high atop Mount Sinai from our bearded friend @burningbush.

“@burningbush” tweets:

I AM God ur rescuer. Luv ME not idols. Honor my name, esp. day 7, stop work. Luv ur folks. Respect ur neighbor’s life, spouse, stuff & name.

Truly, a 140-character masterpiece!

Okay, so it’s not as elegant and magisterial as the original, I know. (Not familiar with the original? You can check it out below.)

Actually Moses did a far better job summing up The Ten Commandments in less than 140 characters himself. Check it out…

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Amazing. Only 125 characters. Elegant, lyrical and memorable.

Sigh…if only I could keep just these two simple things, I’d have the whole “God’s commands” thing down pat. Seriously! Yeah, Jesus himself said these are biggies #1 and #2. So…I guess that makes me a major God’s law-breaker. How lame is that? It should be easy to love God shouldn’t it? Thank goodness God’s got a plan for rescuing law-breakers like me.

Well until next time, this is @average us signing off. Next time we’ll hear from everybody’s favorite lion tamer, “@lionsden”.

The Original (Exodus 20:1-17, NIV)

1 And God spoke all these words:

2 “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

3 “You shall have no other gods before me.

4 “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.

7 “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

8 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

13 “You shall not murder.

14 “You shall not commit adultery.

15 “You shall not steal.

16 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

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The Twitter Bible

Hello all you savvy socially-networked readers. Today, let’s begin a little fun-and-games series that seeks to answer the eternal question,

“What would Jesus Tweet?”

twitter birdThis is a huge challenge. Seriously! Trying to boil down large sections of Scripture into the requisite 140 twitter characters without diminishing the message makes my brain sweat and spirit tremble. But, with a lot of grace I’m up to the task and I’ve got a bunch of these lined up and ready to go over the next few weeks.

Impossible? Probably.

Instructive? Definitely.

Fun? Well, that’s the point, isn’t it?

Let’s begin with my favorite Bible character, Jesus, and His wonderful, life-transforming Beatitudes (Tweetitudes?) which intro His famous Sermon on the Mount. I love this passage and it was quite a challenge reducing it to 140 characters. So, here we go…

“@gospel” tweets:

God blesses meek, mournful, spiritual beggars who hunger for Him. He makes them pure, merciful, peacemaking (and persecuted) Kingdom heirs.

Actually, that was only 139 characters. Brief, concise, maybe a tad terse, definitely less beautiful and powerful than the original (see below).

But, perhaps it captured the essential meaning? What do you think? Leave a comment and let me know.

Next time we’ll hear from “@burningbush”.

The Original (Matthew 5:3-10, NIV)

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

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