Beer and The Bible Have This In Common

A friend reminded me today that beer is an acquired taste.

I never have.

Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s okay to drink beer, I just don’t see the point of drinking anything distasteful just to get used to it and train yourself to like it. And nothing about the smell wafting out of your bottle, can, stein, glass or frothy mug has convinced me to forget my one previous, nauseating experience and give it another try.

Glasses of Beer

But, maybe I don’t know what I’m missing.

Some of you beer fans out there are already thinking about a nice, light amber microbrew I would love.

Right…

Anyway, on to the point of this post, and I’m sure you’ve already figured out the analogy I want to paint:

Reading the Bible is just as distasteful at first as my first sip of beer. It’s ancient, complicated, has weird names in it, tells you not to do stuff, and to do other stuff. It seems irrelevant, and even primitive and barbaric in some places. And all of this adds up to just plain boring.

In fact, for those of you who never touch the stuff (the Bible, that is), I found out the hard way that you should never, ever read the Bible if:

You like being the master of your own destiny.
You like your philosophy of life, the universe and everything.
You believe God’s highest priority is to make you happy.
You don’t like to think about hard stuff like why bad things happen to good people.
You’re comfortable with the notion that war, death and disease “just is…” (shrug)
You don’t like the idea of God being angry.
You like the idea that pretty much everybody goes to heaven.
You think Sunday School stuff is just old-fashioned.
You don’t like people who make claims of exclusive knowledge about/from God.
You think being a Christian is about being kind to others.
You think as long as the good outweighs the bad you’ll be fine in the end.
You think God is on America’s side.
You’re okay with God, but Jesus makes you uncomfortable.
You want to “like” everything you believe.
You think God exists to help you when, and only when, you ask.
You prefer to think people “pass away,” not die.

If any of this describes you, you don’t want to read the Bible EVER. It’ll challenge everything you think you know about yourself, God, life, death, the universe and everything. And that’s distasteful! So If you haven’t read the Bible,

DON’T!

But then, you won’t know what you’re missing.

Maybe, if there is a God, and if He had anything to say to us, it would be exactly what we needed to hear. And if we heard it, and believed it, it would prove to be the finest food and drink for the soul you could imagine. And then you’d acquire a taste for it, and you’d want more, and you’d come again and again to eat and drink and be satisfied.

Well, maybe that’s worth the risk then.

Come, all you who are thirsty,
    come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
    come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
    without money and without cost.

Why spend money on what is not bread,
    and your labor on what does not satisfy?

— Isaiah 55:1-2